Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize