Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
