Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
