theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
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Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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