You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
