How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
