Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
you traded sex for a burrito?
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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