babies were throwing up all over the place
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize