loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
