i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
