'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
