He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
