Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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