just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
