You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
