My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
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