i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Randomize
