hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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