I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
