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State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
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