Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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