hotel room ftw
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
