my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize
