Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize