was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
