am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
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