Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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