I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
