Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i will never coherently bang her
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
