we have officially lost it.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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