Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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