I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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