Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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