I need to stop coming to work sober
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Acid is not a monday night drug
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize