Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
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I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
