...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
