I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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