What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
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I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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