she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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