this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
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I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
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I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
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