If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
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