Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
