alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
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