Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Randomize
