addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
