You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Randomize
