You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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