it wasn't lemon gatorade
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize