From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Randomize
