That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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