he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize