is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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