yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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