We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
