Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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