i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I supernannyed him into submission
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