The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
