great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
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