my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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