I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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