I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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