I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Randomize
