I think I am morally bankrupt
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
