Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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