I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
