I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
