hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
is that a dick in a sweater?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
