weddingsv make me drug and hornr
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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